Hi, everyone, welcome back! I hope the new year has been off to a gentle, fresh start. For the past two weeks, I’ve been enjoying the holiday season with family and friends, relaxing, skiing, and exercising my brain with some strategic planning.
I’ve been reflecting on what we accomplished in this space in 2024 and what structures are possible to meet the emerging needs in 2025. Last year, we examined my values in the Postures and Practices. I am grateful for the time and space to explore these deeply, because we may need them in the year ahead.
The New Year has felt a bit precarious. While some people are verbalizing optimism, others are predicting doomsday scenarios and organizing a resistance. Meanwhile, a large majority of people appear to have abandoned expectations altogether. Things feel very unsettling. There also seems to be an unspoken fear that nothing is guaranteed. Are the systems and structures we have historically relied upon in the past going to be there to care for and support us in the future? As Magic Eight Ball would say “Reply hazy. Try again later.”
I used to believe that we could solve societal problems by designing more equitable systems. In college, I studied public policy, earning a Master’s in Public and Non-Profit Administration, with the intention of crafting a better society. Today, I see things a bit differently. Decades of both professional and lived experiences have led me to the conclusion that our challenges are less about systems failures and more about culture. Systems are simply the mechanisms we use to institutionalize the beliefs and values that already exist in our culture. To change systems, we first have to change culture.
So what is culture? There are many definitions. The first in the Oxford Dictionary is, “The customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social groups.” Anything can have a culture. For example, there is Caribbean culture, political culture, work culture, Amish culture, drug culture, sports culture, consumer culture, American culture, the list goes on and on. According to this definition, culture is simply the beliefs and customs that bind the group together.
My favorite definition, however, is more nuanced and controversial. It comes from John Amechi, an organizational psychologist, leadership transformation expert, and founder of the consulting firm APS Intelligence. He says:
Culture is defined by our worst behaviors tolerated.
He goes on to explain that the bad stuff you’re allowed to do while still existing in the group tells you what the standard is. It is not our aspirations that determine our culture, but rather, how low we set the bar.
Gulp.
Everything about this definition rings true to me, even though I don’t want it to. Not only because of activities that dominate the news headlines but also because of my lived experiences. When I was the Executive Director of a large team, one employee with the wrong attitude could destroy office trust and morale. When I was a soccer coach, I quickly learned that the goof-off energy of tween boys spreads like wildfire. When I was in college and lived in a house with five people, it was amazing how quickly cleanliness standards could go out the window. Coming to the realization that you’re living in a culture where the bar is set too low can be painful.
The antidote to all these scenarios was never blaming, shaming, or authoritative rule-making. Rather, things went much smoother when we took the time to create collective agreements. The only way to establish shared accountability was to openly discuss where to set the standard. Policies, practices, and systems fell into place after that.
I think it’s time we re-evaluate our American culture.
Today, I’m excited to announce a new theme for this blog in 2025 - Intentional Alternatives. Each month we will examine a particular piece of our American culture. Together we will identify the tolerable behaviors that are setting the tone, ask if these behaviors are in alignment with our values, and identify some collective agreements that could help reset the bar.
With the new theme will also come a new structure.
Week 1 - Introduction
In the first week of each month, we will get familiarized with a new topic. This includes learning about its origins, history, and application today. I will also share resources, articles, and tools that will help us explore the topic deeply.
Week 2 - My Stories
Week two will be stories from my life. I will share antidotes about how these topics are manifesting in real, everyday, ordinary moments so that it’s not an abstract exercise, but applicable in the real world.
Week 3 - Your Stories
Here we are going to test something new. Rather than publishing a blog this week, I would like to engage in dialogue. On Tuesdays from 9-10 a.m. PST, I will host Office Hours using the chat function on Substack. Anyone who is a subscriber (paid or non-paid) will receive an email invitation to attend. Click the link to join and you will be taken to a space where you can interact with me and others. Unlike comments on posts, which are restricted to just text, in chat you can also post videos and photos. It’s sort of like joining a live texting group with your friends. During Office Hours I want to hear your thoughts and stories about our monthly topic. There is no cost to participate, you just have to be a subscriber.
Week 4 - Intentional Alternatives
For the final week of the month, I will summarize all we’ve learned and discussed into an Intentional Alternative. What are the important aspects of this piece of our culture? What are we tolerating, but maybe shouldn’t be? What collective agreements can we come to about where to re-set the bar, and what are some practical tips for how to implement them in our real, ordinary, and everyday lives?
With these changes will also come the sunset of Wonder Wednesdays. Posts will only be published on Tuesdays, but they will still include links to tools, resources, and activities you can do at home.
The topics schedule will be released on a quarterly basis, in order to be emergent and responsive to rising needs. Here’s the schedule for the first three months of 2025:
January - Setting the Stage
We will spend the rest of this month learning more about culture. We will also revisit the Posture & Practices and learn some tips and tricks that will make the process fun and meaningful.
February - The Economy
For nearly 20 years, Americans have ranked the economy as one of their top concerns. But what exactly is the economy? This month we will examine our cultural views of money, resources, and economic prosperity.
March - The Future
With explorations to Mars and AI continuously dominating news headlines, it can feel like we’re living in a science fiction novel. This month we will explore our cultural views about the future. What do topics like climate change, artificial intelligence, and space travel reveal about our values?
It’s an ambitious format. I have no idea how it will go. All I know is that structure liberates. In a world that seems on the verge of chaos, I personally need a framework that will help me make sense of things. I hope you will join me on this journey and that together we can shift the status quo and discover some Intentional Alternatives.
I want to take a moment to thank everyone who is a paid subscriber to this blog. In 2025, all content will be accessible to all subscriber types. That makes paid contributions even more special. It means that you see and value my work, even when you get nothing exclusive in return. Thank you. That is a living and breathing example of an Intentional Alternative.
Happy New Year! Culture is a complex system because it can be layered, denied, overly amplified (yes, this is possible), celebrated, judged, encouraged, misunderstood, or ignored. Well, what does that mean for us? Just like your blog, we can approach various parts of culture with curiosity or with uncertainty and defensivenss. The approach will change the outcomes. I was recently in a situation where because of the leadership involved, my approach had no impact to the system. Kindness, intention, application of values, listening, and curiosity became a liability rather than a tool for movement and connection. The gaping hole in the culture was obvious but accepting that what once had been healthy and safe had changed to toxic and oppressing, was a harder task. Accepting that in this case, I couldn't change the culture, but I could make decisions for my own life and values, became a journey of many firsts. Healthy culture is worth preserving because it reflects individuals experiences and lives. Unhealthy culture oppresses the individual voices that may or may not be echoes of the dominant beliefs. Dissenters become threats to be silenced and people are lost. I am looking forward to seeing the balance in between culture and self as you take us on another collective journey in 2025.