137: Emergent Future

Written March 10, 2025

Photo by Mike Setchell on Unsplash

Welcome back, everyone. We continue the Intentional Alternative series by exploring our cultural attitudes towards the future. Last week, we examined the importance of imagination, visioning, and change. If you haven’t read it yet, you can do so here. I wholeheartedly believe that to usher in the future we want, we first need to imagine it. But what happens when the future delivers something unexpected that we could never imagine?

Ten days from now marks the third anniversary of my husband Satish’s death. I’ve been keenly aware of his absence recently, thanks to Sonali, our 12-week-old puppy. People say that adopting a puppy is like having a baby. In some ways, this is absolutely true. The sleepless nights, excessive and uncontrollable excrement, nap schedules, chewy toys, and crying for attention are all reminiscent of when Kushal was born. Yet, there are some key differences. First, I didn’t birth this thing, and my body doesn't manufacture her food. Physically, it’s a different experience. Also, Kushal wasn’t born with sharp teeth, claws, and the desire to run around the house destroying everything. Thank God. Can you imagine if children entered the world as temperamental, ravenous toddlers? There’s a reason babies begin as stationary lumps.

The biggest and most sobering difference for me, however, is that this time around, I’m a solo parent. While Kushal is trying his best to be helpful, he’s an energetic 10-year-old boy. He needs as much training as she does. With Sonali, our family size has returned to three, but she is a constant reminder it should have been four.

Satish was not a pet person. He didn’t have any pets growing up and wasn’t very interested in having them as an adult. We discussed getting a dog for many years, knowing that it would be a great experience for Kushal, but Satish was never quite ready. He was too much of a perfectionist and a clean freak to be a pet owner. Shedding, chewing on furniture, accidents in the house, and muddy paw prints would have driven him bonkers.

Logistically, however it would be so much easier for me to have another set of helping hands. Unlike babies, puppies do not come with maternity leave. In addition to being a solo parent, business owner, and manager of the household, I suddenly added puppy trainer to my job description. Time is a very precious resource, and I started resenting Satish for not being available to help distribute the load. After a particularly difficult day last week of having my toes nibbled, I put on a pair of his thick socks and said out loud, “She can bite on your feet for once!” It didn’t help the chewing, but it did relax my soul.

Then this past weekend, from beyond the grave, Satish made his presence felt. If you knew him, or if you’ve read previous posts about him, then you will remember that he loved technology and gadgets. Specifically tools that made his life easier and more efficient. (See post 74: The Leaves). About three months before his death, he made a purchase that he thought was exciting and I thought was frivolous and unnecessary - a vacuum cleaner that doubled as a mop. We had a perfectly working vacuum and a fine mop. Why did we need a new gadget that did both? When he tried to justify his spending by showcasing the superior functionality of the product, I brushed him off. For three years, the device sat in our garage, untouched and ignored. But now, having a floor covered in dog dribble, I decided it was time to see what this vacuum/mop thing could do. What I discovered was shocking.

Satish didn’t just purchase any cleaning device. He purchased the Bissell CrossWave Pet Pro, which came with a floor cleaner specifically made for pets. A quick review online revealed it is highly rated, specifically for dog owners. After using it, I could see why. It made my floors look amazing. The man knew his technology.

Imagining a future is crucial to ushering in the change we want, but the truth is that life is also unpredictable. No moment is guaranteed, and we don’t have as much control as our ego tricks us into believing. That paradox makes visions even more important. Life is going to go haywire. When it does, you better have the unwavering and constant light of a north star to follow. Otherwise, everything is dark.

When Satish and I imagined what a dog could bring to our family, it was a house filled with love, cuddles, playful energy, and a tool for teaching responsibility and practicing compassion. That future has arrived. Satish’s spirit remains part of it in the most fitting way possible: through clean floors that were both vacuumed and mopped in one efficient sweep.

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