I feel very lucky to have been born and raised for a time in the Bay Area, before moving up here to Pierce County. My mom made the decision to divorce my dad and join the LGBTQ community for a time when I was a teenager, so being exposed directly to that community helped me see how much they needed an ally and help from straight white men to help them grow and feel safe. Nothing made that more clear than when we moved to a close knit, conservative town for my later HS years and I saw how little diversity and acceptance of that community I saw. I also was exposed, for the first real time, to a family dynamic where women were silenced for the men. The moms stayed home and stayed quiet so the men could be in charge and feel powerful. I didn’t have any of that growing up and thought it was a strange sight. Being an advocate for my sister and mom just kind of grew organically during that time. My grandmother was stronger than most men I know. Same with my mom and sister. Most cis white men seem to just want to go with the flow and be a part of the community writ large and not “rock the boat”. Even when I went through a decade of conservative brainwashing, I still never understood why more men wouldn’t stand up for the rights of women or LGBTQ individuals. Then 2016/17 happened, and I saw the real need for advocacy in the world. I’ve lost a lot of conservative friends because I felt the need to call them out and tell them they’re backwards thinking was a minority opinion, not a majority fact.
It’s a rough world to try and stand out and express your support of a different community. It’s also harder to realize our opinions and voice might not be needed at the time and to simply hold the space for minority men and women, as well as the LGBTQ community. I sometimes find being a responsible ally is hard work because we are fighting upstream battles with a culture/society which told us we were special for so long, and sometimes we have to back up and remember the slice of pie is still just as good if we share it with others.
I loved reading Ben’s story and hope you are able to catch more to talk with the next time you cast your net
Thank you Paul for sharing this. I really appreciate having another progressive white mans perspective. It's so easy to assume "minority opinions are majority fact" as you so eliquently stated. I think one remedy to this is hearing other people's stories. Especially those that are different from your own. Thanks for sharing yours.
I had my husband read the article and it resonated with his experience also. While white males once had the advantage, they are silenced in most progressive spaces now. He doesn't mind being silent but is aware that it is harming many colleagues who now feel unwelcome and forced to hide their traumas, experiences, and perspectives. Thank you for exploring this topic, it should be spoken about more. How is transparency a tool when many are excluded from the process of equity work? Is equity work causing exclusion, rather than community? How can we do better?
What an interesting article you wrote about the white progressive male - thanks for taking on this perspective! I was intrigued by the fact that only Ben chose to be interviewed. It says a lot about the fear of harassment and backlash that pervades our society. I admire Ben for stepping up for there is a chance for change with his willingness to express his honest feelings.
I feel very lucky to have been born and raised for a time in the Bay Area, before moving up here to Pierce County. My mom made the decision to divorce my dad and join the LGBTQ community for a time when I was a teenager, so being exposed directly to that community helped me see how much they needed an ally and help from straight white men to help them grow and feel safe. Nothing made that more clear than when we moved to a close knit, conservative town for my later HS years and I saw how little diversity and acceptance of that community I saw. I also was exposed, for the first real time, to a family dynamic where women were silenced for the men. The moms stayed home and stayed quiet so the men could be in charge and feel powerful. I didn’t have any of that growing up and thought it was a strange sight. Being an advocate for my sister and mom just kind of grew organically during that time. My grandmother was stronger than most men I know. Same with my mom and sister. Most cis white men seem to just want to go with the flow and be a part of the community writ large and not “rock the boat”. Even when I went through a decade of conservative brainwashing, I still never understood why more men wouldn’t stand up for the rights of women or LGBTQ individuals. Then 2016/17 happened, and I saw the real need for advocacy in the world. I’ve lost a lot of conservative friends because I felt the need to call them out and tell them they’re backwards thinking was a minority opinion, not a majority fact.
It’s a rough world to try and stand out and express your support of a different community. It’s also harder to realize our opinions and voice might not be needed at the time and to simply hold the space for minority men and women, as well as the LGBTQ community. I sometimes find being a responsible ally is hard work because we are fighting upstream battles with a culture/society which told us we were special for so long, and sometimes we have to back up and remember the slice of pie is still just as good if we share it with others.
I loved reading Ben’s story and hope you are able to catch more to talk with the next time you cast your net
Thank you Paul for sharing this. I really appreciate having another progressive white mans perspective. It's so easy to assume "minority opinions are majority fact" as you so eliquently stated. I think one remedy to this is hearing other people's stories. Especially those that are different from your own. Thanks for sharing yours.
I had my husband read the article and it resonated with his experience also. While white males once had the advantage, they are silenced in most progressive spaces now. He doesn't mind being silent but is aware that it is harming many colleagues who now feel unwelcome and forced to hide their traumas, experiences, and perspectives. Thank you for exploring this topic, it should be spoken about more. How is transparency a tool when many are excluded from the process of equity work? Is equity work causing exclusion, rather than community? How can we do better?
Interesting..!!
What an interesting article you wrote about the white progressive male - thanks for taking on this perspective! I was intrigued by the fact that only Ben chose to be interviewed. It says a lot about the fear of harassment and backlash that pervades our society. I admire Ben for stepping up for there is a chance for change with his willingness to express his honest feelings.
Greetings fellow Enthusiast! Thank you for sharing your story. ❤️